Dry Humping Videos
In our fast pace college lives, I feel as though we sometimes forget the little people. You know, the ones who contribute to our ability to be raging alcoholics. Though the parties may seem effortless, there are a lot of people who contributed to you being able to have a night jam packed with inebriation. So here is a little tribute to the ones we often forget to thank as we are housing a shot or pumping that keg.
Frat Pledges: Have you ever dared a friend to chug their drink, then watch them puke it all up 5 seconds later? Or have you ever been so drunk that your legs literally stopped working and you spill your drink everywhere? Someone has to clean all the shit up, and it is sure as hell not going to be you. Good thing we have a beloved ritual in our fraternity system that involves turning pledges into janitors. With out there sanitation skills, frat houses would be unbearably dirty, instead of the usual semi-clean environment youve grown to love.
Santa Claus: Good old St. Nick just took another trip around the world, and hopefully he blessed all of you with drinking gifts. For example, a camera so you can blackmail your friend with a picture of her making out with the toilet seat wearing nothing but a thong. Or money so you can purchase a months supply of alcohol without dipping into your savings account or stealing money from your boyfriend. Or even new underwear so if you decide to do a random drunken hook up, the boys can appreciate that you are not wearing grannie panties. Each gift has its own drinking significance.
Drunk Horny Guys at the Bar: Guys cannot relate to this as well, but girls know. If you find on of these then you have a good chance of getting wasted for free. Not only that, he will most likely pass out or get into a fight with someone before he even asks for your number. Sweet.
Homework: It sucks. And makes you want to get wasted even thinking about it. Enough said.
The Exs/Random Hook-up People: They are hard to talk to when you are sober, but when you are hammered, sex with them sounds pretty good. So put on your drinking hat and do a little drunk dialing, and see where the night takes you two.
So next time you are drinking until you cant remember your name, raise a toast to the people who helped you get there.