Dry Humping Videos
As a gentleman and a scholar, I think it is my duty to write an informational piece regarding the kind of guys I would shoot if my sister dated them. Now I am not particularly violent as a "make love not war" proponent, but there are just some guys who are inherently dirty. I would like to outline a quick few, that way if any of you out there see one of these fellows you can identify them and take action immediately. Be sure to protect yourself from any blood that may arise, as you want to come away from any conflict free of blood born pathogens.
The Frat Rat-.This is the first and most obvious offender. This isn't to say that every frat member is a first class offender, but everyone has seen the guy who can never make eye contact and is always text messaging someone. This is the same guy who instant messages your girlfriend any night that he is wasted, and is always offering to mix drinks for the ladies. Now he is safe bet if you ever need a fake id or some exotic drug, he is not the kind of guy you want around when your lady friends are getting blackout.
Mr. Muscles- This guy can be quickly identified in crowd as he barges along with his arms hanging away from his torso because he is that tough. He will often wear a rolled up t-shirt and can oftentimes be heard discussing how much he bench pressed that morning. Whether creatine or protein, he will always be in-taking fuel as he is a self proclaimed sex machine. Do you disagree? If so, do not tell him or he will rip your arms off and only to blackout and wake up crying. Do him a favor and hear him out as they sow your limbs back on, it wasnt him who attacked you, it was the steroids.
Professor- I am one for education, but this is just taking it too far. Unless the you are taking a course on being a Presidential intern, then there is no need to be taking part in after hour office visits. Cigar anyone?
Sex-Crazed RA- Who the f%#* hired this guy? Why is there a mirror on his ceiling? Why is his door always locked? If you have found yourself asking these questions, you may have a nympho for an RA. This guy applies for the job because he know the combination of authority and a single will prove potent in the action department. He will be quick to offer a shoulder to cry on, and if your lady friend is feeling extra lonely he will clear out some room on his bed. Whatever you do ladies, never take him up on his back massage, unless you want to leave with a bit more than a loosened up back.