The Keg Party: A Dying Breed?
There is a terrible trend sweeping the college nation. No, its not another fashion disaster like Ugg boots or the astonishing popularity of Facebook. Its the disappearance of kegs from frat parties.
I first noticed the change at the beginning of last semester when I attended the traditional disorientation party hosted by one of our local fraternities. As a friend of some of the brothers, I was there for moral support to deal with the onslaught of freshman that would undoubtedly show up at their door. I was sorely disappointed, however, to discover that the party was missing one key element. The keggerator was gone, and in its place, over 1,500 cans of beer. I questioned the boys on this strange decision, and they informed me that apparently, due to legal ramifications, national fraternities are outlawing the presence of kegs at chapter house parties, and this my friends is an absolute travesty!
The keg is an integral part of any college education. Some of my best nights were the result of cheap keg beer and red Solo cups. Freshman year I learned the textbook pump/pour technique and perfected the ever-sexy finger lick and stir, to reduce the foam. Im not saying that these are resume quality talents, but I do maintain that drinking cheap beer from a can would not have been the same. In college, keg beer is a proverbial right of passage. Without it we may never have gotten through midterms, finals, or our entire sophomore year, hypothetically speaking of course. You cannot think of college, without conjuring up some memory of a keg party and likewise you cannot think of keg parties without thinking of frats. Kegs are inherently tied to fraternities, like Animal House and popped collar polo shirts. Without them, what will differentiate frat parties from any other party offering lukewarm 30-racks?
All Im saying is that if on a particular evening I want to remind myself that these are the greatest days of my partying life through a stereotypical college experience, I wanna be able to go to a frat party, where I know just what to expect-- the sweet aroma of stale beer, the fun adventure of my feet sticking to the floor, and a keg that sits like a trophy in the corner of the basement. It is every college students own personal version of Cheers, and Im sad for future co-eds who will not know this delight.
So I say it is time for us to forget about relevant political issues, to cross the battle lines drawn between the future Republicans and future Democrats of America, and stand together, arm in arm, fighting for the right to have a kegger. Because if we dont do it, who will?
2006 © College Uncovered - All Rights Reserved